I had an eye opening encounter at the gym today that I would like to share with you. I arrived at the gym a little later then I had planned. If you know me, this is no surprise as I have a tendency to be a late person. I did an abbreviated workout as I needed to get home quickly and get ready for work. I jumped off the elliptical and ran to the locker room to throw on my boots and head out. On a side note...grabbing your boots on April 12th is a bit annoying even for a winter lover, like myself. As I entered the locker room, I noticed a woman, in her late 40's sitting on the bench. She was significantly overweight and appeared to be stretching out her legs. We made eye contact and I turned to my locker to grab my keys. As I was taking off my shoes, the woman looked directly at me and said, " may I ask you something." In my head, I was slightly annoyed because I was in a rush, but of course I did not want to appear rude so I gave an indication for her to proceed with her question. She asked me how long I had gone to highland fitness. I kind of chuckled and explained that I had been a member for years...but actually attending was another issue all together. But I did tell her that recently I had been coming quite frequently. She then asked if my knees bothered me. At first, I was a bit surprised by the question. I wondered why she asked ME that. You see, I forget sometimes that I am fat. I know that seems implausible, but I do not think about it that often--especially in the sense of having physical limitations because of my size. My knees don't hurt; I don't lack energy, etc. But, I imagine, because I am significantly overweight, she felt comfortable asking me this question, I responded that luckily my knees were not an issue for me and then she proceeded to tell me how hers were really hurting and she was not sure what to do about exercise. Of course, believing that I am the expert in all things, I gave her advice on what machines might be more or less painful and I encouraged her to talk to one of the trainers. At this time another women, in her 60's, came in and was listening to our conversation. She joined in and reported that she had had a knee replacement and so she shared her tales of pain and strengthening the muscles around her knees and what trainer she used. I sat there listening to these two women share knee horror stories and I suddenly felt a wave of embarrassment come over me. These women were at the gym; working on their health in spite of physical ailments. At first, I thought good for them. But then I started to think about myself and I began to feel a little ashamed in a way. Why? you might ask. I go the gym and I have a great workout. I set a goal to burn "x" amount of calories and I blast my music in my ears, jump on the machines and do my thing. And it is EASY. I do not feel any pain. I do not have any limitations. I do not even care when I start dancing on the treadmill and I look ridiculous. I get lost in my own little Marybeth world where the sun is always shining and birds are always singing and life is good. Then I report later in the day that I had a good work out. HA. I had an easy workout. Yes I sweat and get my heart rate up and I burn lots of calories and I am losing weight...but it is still easy and I enjoy it. These women are working through pain and fighting back tears. They are struggling to get healthy. It seems to me I cannot really say I struggle with my battle with weight loss. Hell let's be real...I don't struggle with anything. So yes I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I get to walk through this world unscathed. Things have always come easy for me. And this is through no doing of my own. Blessings from God or having amazing parents...whatever it is...I have no idea what struggle is. So I have NO EXCUSE for being unhealthy. I am actually a little disgusted with myself. I did not eat because I have emotional issues and I did not have physical ailments that kept me from working out. I ate lots of sugar because it tasted good and I rarely went to the gym because I am lazy and didn't feel like going. It is that simple. I chose to be unhealthy. That is my revelation. In the past, I have made a conscious decision to be unhealthy. I mean, I did not wake up one day and say I am just going to keep eating until I am morbidly obese. Winner winner chicken dinner...you did it girl! lol But I am a smart girl. I know what causes people to gain weight and I chose to engage in those behaviors anyway. Odd choice right? duhhhh Marybeth.
The good news is, I have changed and my choice is to become healthy. So to all of those women and men who struggle with emotional or physical issues that hinder their weight loss, I wish you well and I admire your desire to work through your struggles. In honor of you, I will NEVER make an excuse again. For me, there is no excuse...
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